I want to buy myself a little something, I think. It's what I would do for a friend, to celebrate her should she need some cheering. But nothing seems good enough, fitting for the need, and all my ideas (lipstick I am now free to wear, jewelry, wine) fall flat, trivial and silly next to the serious matter of sadness. I doubt they'll be of substantial comfort, likely leaving me with guilt and a smaller bank account.

So I think I'll turn to what I've done many times in the past: channel my negativity into being productive, and tackle some lingering projects.

First I will continue my reading, something I picked up again this summer. My library card should see sustained use, I think, and I could use the practice in disciplining my mind from wandering, especially during long subway commutes, where focusing is never easy.

Second, I'll make another attempt at purging my closet. Even the author of my current read, Laura Fraser, thinks it's a good idea, albeit a proxy for dealing with the real messy contents of one's life. But if I can organize a couple of external elements of my world, maybe turning inward would come more easily.

Then I think about it some more and decide that maybe I'll streamline my closet while wearing my new NARS lipstick in Dolce Vita and drinking an entire bottle of prosecco. What I mean is, that's an option too.


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